Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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