Dual....:-)
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
