He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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