i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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