he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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