If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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