There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
