$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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