did you get engaged???
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize