Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
