Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
