I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
