I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
