I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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