No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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