my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Need sex. Gaining weight.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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