trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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