NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
