I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
