That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I will be naked everywhere
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
