CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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