I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
