I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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