ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
