I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
