So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize