its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
