Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
