TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
