my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Pooping to opera.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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