I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I've blown a few things in my day
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
