meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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