i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
