we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
