i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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