the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
