chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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