On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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