I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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