Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
