so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
