Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
