I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
