Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
