You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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