Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
