He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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