She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
