And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So much Jack, so little girl.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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