He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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