So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
