I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I am one with the molecules
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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