Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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