There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
