He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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