Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
