if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
