You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
