She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
