Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Non-Jews are for practice
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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