Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
