Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
