I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
