he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
