I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
