the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
