You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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