i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We're too hungover to prance.
Pants are for mortals
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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