remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
