Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
